In February of 2020 (pre-Covid!), we took a trip to Namibia for the opportunity of a lifetime. I spoke at the Global Speakers Summit, held that year in Swakopmund in Namibia – a dream come true and a great adventure.
At the time, we didn’t have plans to go on an African Safari as well, but our dear friend Marlene Armstrong from Unbridled Coaching said: “You can’t go to Namibia and not go on an African safari; you’d be crazy not to!”
We hadn’t even thought about an African Safari but what she said made so much sense. So even though this adventure had never been something we’d dreamed about doing, we decided to explore the possibilities since we were already going to be there.
Ultimately this turned out to be the experience of a lifetime, and we were lucky enough to see “The Big Five” all in one day (a rare occurrence!). But what are The Big Five, you might ask, and just how does this relate to your inheritance?
The Big Five and Your Inheritance
The Big Five are the animals that can and will kill you, especially if threatened! For example, a zebra or giraffe will not kill you; however, an elephant, lion, water buffalo, leopard, or rhinoceros can and will – The Big Five.
And just like the Big Five, in our work with clients who have received an inheritance, we often see 5 critical mistakes that can “kill” all the value our clients could have received from their inheritance.
So let’s talk about The Big Five when it comes to your inheritance. We’re going to take you on your own “Inheritance” African Safari so you can understand these majestic and dangerous concepts from the safety of your well-planned Financial Advisor’s jeep!
We hope you enjoy this trip with us and feel empowered to make decisions that make sense for your own unique journey when you receive an inheritance.
You Need A Guide For This Journey
Before we talk about the Big Five, we need to understand some key concepts and rules to remain safe on our safari!
First of all, having a guide is critical. A knowledgeable, curious, well-informed guide made sure our experience was safe, fun, and quite delightful.
In our case, our guide’s name was Jeffrey, and he’d had extensive training that kept us learning about the magnificent country and the animals living in their habitats. We had to follow specific rules: no standing up in the wide-open jeep, no shouting or loud noises that would startle the animals, and always listen to what our guide had to say.
You see, the animals had become accustomed to seeing the jeep and us in it as a separate nonthreatening entity that they could trust, and that wouldn’t harm them. That’s what allowed us to get so close to the Big Five.
From an inheritance point of view, we believe that a guide can help to enhance your experience as you figure out what you would like to do with this gift. A Financial Advisor guide can provide you with information that you might otherwise not have access to and expand your options while weighing out the pros and cons.
The listening goes both ways, of course. As your guide, we want to know more about the person who has left you with this money – what was your relationship with them, what values did they impart to you, and how do you want to instill those values into your decisions stewarding this money. So it’s very much a reciprocal relationship, just as our experience was on the safari, which enhances the opportunities and experiences available.
Focus On What’s Important To You
Our African Safari took place at the Kapama Private Reserve. Instead of being focused on taking pictures (as many other visitors we met were), we concentrated on just sitting and watching the animals.
When we went out searching for the animals, we were in an open jeep with no guns or other weapons for protection; we had a guide and a tracker, that was it. I remember seeing a female lion climbing a tree beside me, within 6 ft or about 2 meters away. She leaped from the tree, turned and looked at me, took my breath away, and gave me goosebumps.
We also saw a baby lion with what looked like his slightly older brother, along with a male and two female lions lounging in the sun. What was fun for us was watching the baby lion batting and playing with the male’s tail. Finally, he stood up and glared at the baby, who slunk away to play elsewhere while his Father went into the bushes to get some peace away from this pesky child.
Had we just taken pictures of the lions, we would have missed this entire family dynamic that unfolded as we sat and watched. Taking the time to be a part of the environment was important to us, and it enhanced our experience.
When it comes to receiving an inheritance, you also need to focus on what’s important to you. Every “inheritance safari” is different – there is no one right way to steward the money you have been given. An excellent guide will help you zero in on the experience you want to have by asking questions about what is important to you.
So, let’s talk about The Big Five on our inheritance safari!
5 Keys To Unlocking Value In Your Inheritance
Key #1 – The Leopard: Step Out Into The Open
The leopard is a nocturnal animal who has shy, secretive ways. This animal will decide if it wants to be seen and if you will be lucky enough to see it. So imagine our surprise when we saw two eyes peering through the bushes. We sat there quietly in our jeep, and out it came, walking out from the bushes and laying down right beside us in the grass. I was in awe of its beauty, power, and stealth, another breathtaking experience. We also saw another leopard in a tree with all four legs dangling under the tree limb and its body stretched out on the branch.
On your inheritance safari, we recognize that exploring your relationship with your deceased family member is a conversation that requires you to step out into the open so we can see and hear your experiences. This sharing of your experiences can be emotional and, therefore, very powerful, just as our sighting of the leopard was. How deep you decide you want to go is up to you, and, of course, we seek your permission before beginning to have this meaningful conversation.
We view this sharing of your experience as a privilege to be a part of. But, of course, not everyone wants or is ready to go there, so we honour your decision and your timing. You are the one in control, just like the leopard.
Key #2 – The Rhinoceros: Take A Long-Range View
Did you know that this massive animal with the giant pointed horn is in danger of becoming extinct? Some poachers kill these amazing animals for their horns, and the reality is the rhino’s horn can grow back but only if it’s still alive. We saw two females hanging out together one day on our safari; our guide wondered if they were sisters as they looked about the same age. Rhinoceroses are the second heaviest of all the land animals in Africa. They look prehistoric with their thick folds of skin and ears that reminded me of trumpet flowers. Because they are in danger of becoming extinct, the conservation or the long-range view of these amazing animals is paramount to their survival.
When reflecting on the rhinos, what stands out for me for your inheritance safari is the importance of having that longer-range view. For many people, the idea of using the money to pay down debt is the immediate thought. However, after some time and further exploration, the idea of preserving and earmarking this money as a pool of capital that can be attached to specific goals that are also related to the person from whom you received this gift can make more sense. This takes our concept of the “meaning behind the money” to a whole new level. It ensures that you are making informed decisions by exploring all your options and making the best decisions for you and your family. Infusing this meaning into the decisions you make can also help you decide how best to steward this gift.
Key #3 – The Lion: Don’t Forget To Play
At 6 am each morning, we would leave on our Safari for three hours of driving in the jeep, looking for signs of different animals. The guide and tracker would determine by how fresh the poop was how close we were getting to the animals. Part of the excitement was the anticipation of what animal we might see based on their keen observations. Our second drive of the day was always in the early evening, and surprisingly we would see lions lounging on the road on our way back to the lodge where we were staying. One evening, one of my wishes came true as I got to see and hear a male lion roar repeatedly, calling back to the pride, and I’m assuming it was to tell each other where they were.
As I described earlier, one day, we happened upon a pride of lions, and we happily sat and watched as the baby lion was playing with the tale of the male lion. The lions on our inheritance Safari can remind us that play is an integral part of every life, human AND lion.
And by play, I mean the process of further exploring and discovering what would and could bring you joy, even during your grief, when it comes to the decisions you make about how best to steward your inheritance.
Play involves creativity and looking outside the box. Yet, when we discuss inheritance with the mindset of infusing play or joy into the use of the money, we often hear, “I’ve never thought about that as a possibility”. Well, it’s time to think about it!
We believe that a gift from your loved one can bring you joy based on your decisions as to how you want to allocate a portion of this gift. For example, it could be to invest a part of the money for future family vacations (perhaps even to Africa!). The possibilities are endless.
Key #4 – The African Buffalo: Protect and Care For Your Family Values
This mega-huge animal has a fascinating horn – the base is fused, forming a continuous bone shield, and it kind of looks like a brain on each side of their heads. One day I went on a walking safari, and we came across a herd of buffalo at a watering hole. Our guide stopped us in our tracks and said, don’t move or make a sound, as one of the buffalo had noticed us and was beginning to leave the herd to check and see if we were any sort of threat. That was scary!
We were on foot, so our guides were carrying guns, just in case. When you’re in the jeep, the animals see you as one large being and non-threatening; however, on foot, that’s an entirely different story.
What stands out for me about the buffalo is that they are incredibly protective and will do everything they can to shelter their young and the herd. For example, a buffalo will even take on a pride of lions and do everything they can to protect their group.
Similarly, most people want to make sure their families are protected and cared for when it comes to inheritances. We repeatedly hear, “I wish I could do the same for our kids.” They want to be in a position to be able to pass on a similar meaningful gift to their children.
Usually, the inheritance gift is meant for the deceased’s offspring, which means that their spouse and children can also potentially benefit from the deceased’s generosity. Therefore, making decisions about how best to allocate these funds while keeping them distinct and apart from the whole of the family assets serves the purpose of remembering and reminding ourselves who gave us this gift and perhaps even why.
The why could include the deceased’s intentions or, if we haven’t been privy to that information, at the very least decisions can be made based on their values and how they lived their lives, which might look like supporting charities they valued. You can use your perception of what you think they’d want you to do with this money to make them proud of your diligence, care, and concern. Part of your legacy can include and incorporate theirs.
Key #5 – The Elephant: Don’t Combine Your Inheritance With Other Assets
These majestic creatures are genuinely superb, and their little ones are a hoot to watch as they try to figure out how to use this thing attached to their faces, called a trunk. We sat and were mesmerized by a baby elephant who was very close to its mother who was smiling (I kid you not) as the baby was trying its darndest to use its trunk to take a branch off a tree and eat the leaves, quite unsuccessfully I might add. I hadn’t realized or even thought about how an elephant might have trouble learning how to use its trunk. Go figure.
The “Elephant In The Room” is a metaphor that means there is a major problem or controversial issue that is obviously present but avoided as a subject for discussion because it is more comfortable to do so.
On our inheritance safari, the elephant in the room is usually the issue of combining or commingling the inheritance with the family assets. This is not an easy conversation to have and yet it is a necessary one.
Your inheritance can be and in most cases should be kept separate from and not commingled with family assets. At the very least if you are going to decide to commingle this money with your family assets – a great example would be paying down a mortgage – be aware that if there is ever a marital breakdown, then that money will be split with your ex-spouse.
We generally recommend that you do not commingle the assets and if you do, then be aware that this could be the consequence. Keeping your inheritance separate and apart from your family assets so that it retains its distinction within your overall financial picture has many benefits, not only because of the elephant in the room, but also so you can be the lion, the buffalo, and the rhinoceros when it comes to unlocking the value of your inheritance.
Inheritances Can Be Gifts Filled With Meaning
Inheritances are lovely gifts that are passed on to you from your loved one. The person who has worked hard over the years is now able to pass on their values and what gave them meaning in their lives, to share with you and your descendants.
In fact, we’ve had parents insist that their adult kids come to us for this discussion as well, so they feel confident the gifts they are passing on to the next generation will be well cared for and, as all parents wish, for this to be treated respectfully.
Our experience has shown us that infusing the meaning behind the money into your decision-making process and what you’d like to do with this gift is a very personal and poignant decision.
We believe that giving this process the time it deserves to take means exploring your options with a long-range view (like the rhinoceros), showing up for the process (like the leopard), striving to protect and take care of your family and others (like the buffalo), finding a way to enjoy the process by thinking creatively about how you’d like to steward this gift (like the lion), and not ignoring the elephant in the room.
All of these processes are the keys to unlocking the value of your loved one’s legacy. When your inheritance safari includes The Big Five, you can be sure that you are stewarding your loved one’s gift with care.
What are your plans for your inheritance, and will you be using some of the concepts from our inheritance safari? Let me know in the comments!
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